THE DARK SIDE CASUALTY NICK JORDAN
by covblazebabe
Summary: New fanfic based around casualty, Zoe has walked out on Nick after a terrible row, but Nick cant remember the details, in a desperate attempt to win Zoe back he goes to Adam Trueman for help. Can Adam piece together Nicks shattered memory?
1. Chapter 1

_**Hello people, here's an all new casualty fanfic, as with the others this is just setting the scene, hope you enjoy it! **_

_**The dark side **_

Nick lay in bed with his hands behind his head looking round at the four walls surrounding him, there were pictures of him and Zoe covering them, this brought a smile to his face, he and Zoe had been through so much together, so many ups and downs, some how they had always managed to come through the hard times and be greeted by the shinning light of joy at the end.

Unfortunately this time it wasn't to be, Nicks smile faded as he remembered the events of just 3 days before, Zoe and he had had a huge row and she had stormed out, he had tried calling, texting, emailing, paging the only thing he hadn't tried was owl post!

He couldn't even remember how the row had started, or who started it, all he knew was he'd never been so harsh and cruel with his words to anyone in his life, he blamed Zoe for him being alive, for not being able to give him a family, for drinking, smoking, mistakes at work – everything.

As he ran through the evening in question in his mind he could only see and hear himself, his own voice screaming bucket loads of abuse, that and the door slamming as Zoe left, apart from that his mind seemed blank.

Normally Zoe would have gone for a few hours and let him calm down, but this time she hadn't come back nor had she been in work.

Nick was worried but he didn't know what to do, he had no one to turn to, the staff didn't know about their relationship, they may have suspected something but no one had mentioned anything, all he knew was she had called in sick the day after their row, he had driven to her house a number of times only to find it in darkness.

He took a deep breath and grabbed his phone '**Zo please come home, im really sorry for everything I said, I miss you. Love Nick xxx' **he read the message back several times before pressing send.

He dragged himself up and got ready for work, all he could hope for was that Zoe would be there and he could take her in his arms and tell her how much he loved her.

Upon arrival at the ED all was quiet; he scanned the reception and waiting area for any sign of Zoe but nothing.

He didn't bother greeting anyone; he just went straight to his office,.

He was slumped in his swivel chair staring at his phone when Adam knocked the door "come" shouted Nick.

"Nick, Zoe just gave me this admin work to give back to you, said she didn't have time to get it done"

"Zoe? What? When? Where is she?" questioned Nick jumping out his seat.

Adam gave him a strange look before replying "um she just left"

"Oh no" yelled Nick rushing from behind his desk and bumping into a near by plant "ahhh fucking cheese plant" he screamed holding his leg and limping out.

Adam shook his head "good morning to you Adam, how are you, im fine Nick yourself" he muttered to himself before leaving the office to tail Nick.

"Zoe" screamed Nick as Zoe's car sped out of the car park, he dropped to his knees "Zoe please!" he screamed, just then he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Nick what's wrong?" it was Adam, he and Adam were good friends, just like him and Zoe they been through a lot, Adam had had a harder time than most, his brother had died, he'd lost his son plus his wife had left him.

Nick often wondered how the man held it together.

He stood up tears filling his eyes and collapsed into Adams arms "Adam iv been so stupid" he sobbed, he was never the open type normally but recently being with Zoe he'd learnt some important lessons in life.

"Nick has something happened? Are you feeling unwell?" questioned Adam holding Nick by his shoulders "its Zoe, Zoe and me" stuttered Nick.

Adam released his grip and narrowed his eyes "oh aye" he mumbled with a grin.

Nick nodded his head "yes it is what your thinking"

"Well congratulations" smiled Adam putting a friendly arm round Nicks shoulders "come on il buy you breakfast" he said leading him off towards the hospital cafeteria.

They sat in silence for a few moments watching people come and go, the cafeteria was a strange place to be at times, there were people in there that had just lost loved ones, people who were waiting to lose them, people who were ill themselves.

The place had an eerie atmosphere about it.

"So you and Zoe" started Adam biting into his egg roll getting the yoke all over his chin "yeah me and Zoe" repeated Nick placing his hands on the table.

"We started spending more time together about two months ago" explained Nick "we were getting on great, she had practically moved in with me, we had a row and she stormed out" by this point he was almost crying again, all the nasty things he'd said rang in his ears, he took a sip of coffee before continuing his tale of woe "I said some terrible things Adam, I really fucked things up that night"

Adam sat back and folded his arms mulling the story over "what was the row about?" he asked intrigued, Nick shook his head "I don't know, I cant remember, it was just after a bad day and I just started coming out with stuff"

"Hmmmm"

Nick looked up 'hmmm' wasn't quite the response he was looking for, here he was pouring his heart out and all Adam could managed was 'hmmm' "Well what you think I should do?" he questioned sounding desperate.

Adam tilted his head and leaned forward, he could sense Nick's desperation "I could talk to her for you I suppose" offered Adam "but she seemed in a pretty off mood this morning"

Nick gave him a sharp look "what makes you think she will listen to you?" he asked "Hey I only offered" answered Adam with his hands held up.

Nick thought about it for a moment "Nick iv not got all day" informed Adam standing up.

"Um right" said Nick holding his head, his vision became blurred "Adam I " he stuttered standing up, sweat began pouring off him, his heart raced.

"Nick" cried Adam trying to steady him "Nick sit down before you fall down"

"Don't feel well" Nick slurred as everything faded to black….

'_**I hate you Zoe, iv never loved you, your dead to me "ahhh Nick no please stop, don't do it….."'**_

Nick bolted upright as he felt cold water being splash over his face, he shook his head and looked up, he was now sat upright on the cafeteria floor, a growing crowd of people circling him "come on lets get you out of here" Said Adam helping him up, he was still very unsteady so he leaned on Adam for support as they left the area.

"Adam I think I was dreaming" Nick stuttered sounding confused and disorientated "Dreaming? You fainted Nick, give me the number of your neurologist you need to get checked out" demanded Adam almost dragging him along the corridor.

Nick stopped abruptly turning his head towards Adam.

"Adam I remember something" he claimed, fear spread across his face as the events of that fateful night came flooding back ….

_**Ohhh so people what really did happen that night?**_

_**Can Adam help?**_

_**What's wrong with Nick's memory?**_

_**Exactly what does he remember?**_

_**As always thank you for reading, please comment or review if you have the time.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hey guys its time for chapter 2.**_

_**As always I hope you enjoy what you read, if you do then please take the time to let me know! **_

As Nick sat in his office fiddling with an elastic band he tried to run through the last few days in his mind, he could remember yesterday, he had worked the morning shift, lost 2 patients and managed to consume 5 hotdogs within the space of 8 hours.

"Bit late to worry about my health" he muttered as he reminisced

He remembered the day before that being Saturday, he'd spent the day in bed feeling sorry for himself and trying to contact Zoe ,then he had got up to work the night shift, the usual for Saturday nights – drunks, minor injuries and drug related cases.

Time wasters in Nick's opinion.

However Friday was still as big a mystery as the Bermuda triangle, he sat for what seemed like eternity racking his brains for the answers to the questions that were spinning round his mind.

What had the argument been about?

What were his exact words?

What the hell was Zoe's screaming voice doing echoing in his ears?

And then there was the weird flash back he had in the canteen.

Zoe screaming, begging him 'Don't do it'

What could she have possibly meant? What had he done to her to make her bolt out the door, to ignore his messages and his pleas for forgiveness.

He placed his head in hands trying so hard to think that his head hurt.

"Nick" said Adam interrupting his trail of thought "got you a coffee"

"Cheers Adam, you know I still can't remember anything, just Zoe screaming, begging me not to do it"

Adam sat opposite him "begging you not to do what?" he questioned.

"I don't know, I can't bloody remember!" shouted Nick frustrated.

"Resus quick" shouted Charlie rudely poking his head round the door and running off.

They both jumped up and followed Charlie.

"This is Ashley, 53 years old, was found unconscious on in the street, he regained consciousness in the ambulance, no obvious trauma, stats are normal" informed Dixie.

"Ok Ash, mind if I call you Ash?" said Nick trying to keep the man calm "can you tell me what happened?"

The patient shuffled over off the trolley onto the bed as Nick listened to his chest "Well I was walking along the high street on my way to the bookies and I just felt a bit dizzy" the man explained "I don't remember anything after that"

"Witnesses said it looked like he just collapsed" stated Jeff.

"Dizziness eh, join the club" muttered Nick giving the patient a wink.

"I don't understand what happened" exclaimed the man looking worried.

"Well fainting occurs when we suddenly and briefly lose consciousness, the oxygen supply to our brain is temporally impaired; we will then lose muscle control of our legs and collapse" said Nick in his professional tone, he could see this wasn't helping the patient "It was probably just a vasovagal" he said reassuringly.

"Right people I want lab tests and an ECG please" ordered Nick "il leave things in your capable hands Dr Trueman"

Nick walked out of the resus and headed to the nurse's station where Noel was doing his usual shuffling of papers "afternoon Mr Jordan" he said cheerfully.

"Afternoon" replied Nick "you any idea when Zoe will be returning to work?" he questioned.

"She didn't say" answered Noel walking off.

"Her mothers not well, so could be a while" Tess said butting in appearing beside him.

"Oh right well… never mind" Nick put his head down and walked back towards his office, he knew full well there was nothing wrong with Zoe's mother, it was all just an excuse to avoid him "oh fuck!" he shouted smashing his hand hard against the wall in anger "ouch" he yelped as he realised he could have done himself some damage.

"Now what has that wall ever done to you?" came Dylan's voice from behind him – this was all he needed Dylan and his sarcastic comments "nothing, nothing at all, get back to work Dr Keogh" he said in a threatening tone.

He watched Dylan walk off muttering something to himself.

Entering his office he felt a bit light headed, he stopped and leaned against the now closed door "ohhh" he said to himself stumbling to his desk and flopping down.

He rested his head on the back of the chair, loosening his tie and undoing a few buttons on his shirt, he started feeling drowsy.

His head started to spin, he felt like he was on a merry-go-round "ohh stop" he mumbled through clenched teeth covering his face with his hands…..

'_Zoe stomped into the flat. Nick was already home, he had just finished his dinner and had Zoe's in the oven keeping it warm, he could see Zoe was angry, pissed off, annoyed about something, he walked over and kissed her passionately before pinning her against the wall._

_He tore her clothes off, neither of them said a word, Zoe moaned as she ripped Nicks shirt off his back, fumbling between kisses to get his belt free, soon enough his trousers and boxers were off, they were both letting out loud groans of pleasure as Nick pressed against her pussy, his cock throbbing._

_Zoe gasped then moaned. Nick pushed his cock into her tight pussy. He pounded her ruthlessly. Zoe shook in an organism as he kept on thrusting into her. "OH FUCK YES" she cried. "FUCK ME! OH FUCK ME!" she cried louder. Her moans were increasing and her breathing got heavier._

_Nick carried her to the couch, placed her down, and started pounding her more. "oh Zoe im going to cum" he yelled. _

_He shot his spunk far into Zoe's pussy. He pulled out. "Oh don't stop" Zoe gasped, breathing heavily. "Fuck me more, I want to feel you inside me, Fuck me as hard as you can! Fuck me!" she said, Nick did as he was told till he'd pleased her 10 times over'_

"Nick, Nick"

"Eh…" Nick slurred confused as he came round, he was lay on the floor of his office, he looked around, his vision was blurred and his head was stinging.

"Nick can you stand up?" asked Adam taking his arm, as he was being helped up the room span round before him causing him to lose his balance, Adam caught him just in time "right that's it, your getting checked out" he insisted "No Adam im fine" slurred Nick pushing Adam away and retreating back to his seat.

"Nick this is stupid listen to yourself you can't even talk straight" yelled Adam starting to lose his patients, he took a deep breath and stepped back placing his hands on his hips "how did you end up on the floor?" he questioned.

"Um im not sure" answered Nick feeling a little daft now "but I remembered something" Adam let out a sigh and sat down "you mean you had another episode" he snapped.

"Episode?" Nick looked puzzled.

"Yes episode, a flash back like this morning when you went all funny in the canteen remember?"

"Oh yeah, yeah like that, Zoe had come in from work, to my place angry and we um well we, she and I"

"Yes I get the picture" snapped Adam, this was clearly to much information for him to handle at this time, his own love life wasn't exactly going brilliantly, he certainly didn't need to hear about Nick's extra curricular activities, especially when he hadn't had any for a while himself.

"So we have the please of _**'oh**_ _**don't do it'**_ and the '_**oh Mr Jordan do me'**_" said Adam sarcastically "much confusion" he continued standing up.

"Adam you have to help me" pleaded Nick.

"How can I help you?" shot back Adam, he was just about ready to lose his temper, he had enough going on in his own life, he could do without concerning himself with anyone else's.

"Please Adam can you talk to Zoe for me?"

"Ok, but you better get yourself checked out" replied Adam after thinking it over.

"Alright" muttered Nick reluctantly, he watched Adam leave and picked up the phone to call Francis…

_**There we go people more of the mystery revealed ….**_

_**Will Nick make an appointment and get himself checked over?**_

_**Will Zoe come back to him?**_

_**What really happened that night?**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Here comes chapter 3.**_

_**So Nicks been having flash backs all day but is still unable to piece together why Zoe walked out on him.**_

_**Zoe seems illusive - she won't reply to his calls or messages.**_

_**Can Adam find her and persuade her to talk to him about what happened?**_

_**Was the incident in question so bad that she can't even face Nick?**_

_**Let's see.**_

6pm meant end of shift and home time for Nick, he'd managed to persuade Adam to talk to Zoe for him, although he wasn't sure what good it would do, he couldn't tell Adam where to even start with her, he still couldn't remember what exactly happened between them, he had told Adam everything he could remember and now all he could do was hope he would be able piece things together with Zoe's help.

If he knew what he had done he could start putting things right.

As he wandered out of the ED towards his car he imagined Zoe walking beside him, hand in hand, discussing their plans for the evening ahead, that's how it had been for the past month or so.

They would talk of going for a meal, stopping for a take away, going to the pictures or even stopping for a romantic walk in the park.

However tonight it looked like it was just going to be him alone with a bottle of wine and take away pizza.

He approached the car and something caught his eye "what the .." he stopped and stared at the huge dent in the side of the car "that wasn't there before" he muttered examining the damage.

He shook his head and got in the car, he did consider going round to Zoe's place but seeing as the last few times it had be lost in darkness he didn't see any point.

He pulled onto some country roads; he fancied a nice slow drive home, just to clear his mind.

Suddenly his head started spinning, the road in front of him became a blur, he slammed the breaks down hard…

_The rain was blinding him, the wipers were working frantically to clear the windscreen, he wiped the tiredness from his eyes, his whole body froze as his eyes were fixed on the road ahead - a van was steaming towards him driving on the wrong side of the road. He sat at the wheel trapped in place, he couldn't move, the glow from the headlights of the van were blinding him, his heart raced as the van skidded towards him, the world seemed to turn upside down, yells, flashes, screams, blinding lights were all around, surrounding him, he slammed the breaks down and skidded into a near by lamppost…'_

"Ahh" he screamed waking up, he looked out the windows, he was parked up by the side of the road, the dim sunlight was shinning through the clouds.

'BEEP, BEEP' "bloody hell" he yelled as the sound of his mobile made him nearly jump out of his skin '**on way to see Zoe, il text you later ADAM**' read the message.

He shoved his phone back in his pocket. "What's wrong with me" he muttered with tears in his eyes, he slammed both hands down hard on the wheel as an awful feeling stuck his body, all day he'd been having blackouts, flashbacks, horrifying visions the worst dreams he had ever had – nightmares.

He sat trembling; his heart was beating so fast he felt it was going to explode in his chest, thoughts raced round his mind like a greyhound chasing a hare.

He allowed his mind to fall open as everything began to make sense '_don't do it_' he heard Zoe's haunting echoing voice ringing in his ears, he felt the warmth of her body pressed against his in a moment of passion, he saw the headlights of the van, the rain splashing off the windscreen, he felt the car jolt and crash into a lamppost hard, he felt his head collide with the side window….

His blood ran cold when a terrible truth, a dreadful realisation hit him - these hadn't been nightmares they had been memories…..

_**Short teaser there for you people!**_

_**Stand by for chapter 4!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4….**_

Adam had arrived at Zoe's fully equipped with a bottle of wine and an Indian take away, as he stood and looked up at her house he felt a chill run down his spine.

He didn't understand why he felt so uncomfortable; maybe it was the breeze in the air, the howling of the wind, or perhaps it was the fact he felt like he was doing Nick's dirty work for him.

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door, a few moments later Zoe answered the in her nightgown "Adam iv been expecting you" she slurred moving aside so he could come in "oh wine, nice one" said Zoe taking the bottle from his hand and closing the door.

Upon entering the living room Adam instantly felt relaxed, he looked Zoe up and down, he didn't notice how good looking she was before.

"Zoe have you been drinking?" Adam questioned, not that he needed to ask the empty wine bottles overflowing the bin answered his question "I might have had a couple" laughed Zoe downing a glass of the newly opened bottle Adam had brought round.

They sat and ate dinner and made small talk for a while 'BEEP, BEEP'

Adam grabbed his phone '**Adam I need to see you its urgent. Nick**' he rolled his eyes and placed the phone on the table "so Zoe …" he started "yes Dr Trueman" chuckled Zoe clearly drunk "I um was talking to Nick today and he …" "Adam" Zoe interrupted "I don't want to hear that name, that name will no longer darken my days, that name is a name for my pain" she continued in slurred tone.

Adam sat back in his seat and knocked back a few glasses of wine before engaging in more small talk….

Elsewhere Nick had returned to his flat, he poured himself a whisky and lay on the sofa , loosening his tie he turned on the tv.

Upon channel surfing he came across the shopping channels, he often watched these early evening when he had the time.

Relaxing himself he sipped his whisky and lay his head back, normally while he was alone he would think, but he had done enough of that to last him a lifetime.

He flicked to the music channels only to hear 'G_ilbert O'Sullivan - alone again naturally' __eco through the speakers "story of my life" he muttered to himself closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep…._

_Meanwhile Zoe and Adam had between them consumed several bottles of wine which Zoe had gladly produced; they sat at opposite ends of the sofa Zoe with her legs spread across the middle resting her elbow on the arm._

_Adam with his feet up on the table, they had chatted about everything tonight apart from the one thing that Adam had gone round there for in the first place._

_But in the cold light of day he didn't mind admitting this was the best evening he had had in months, this was the sort of evening he should have been spending with his estranged wife Jessica, after the death of their son Harry they just couldn't put the pieces back together, for a moment he felt great sadness come upon him, tears welled in his eyes._

_Suddenly he felt Zoe's hand on his shoulder "Adam are you ok? You've gone quiet" she asked wiping a tear from his cheek, Adam turned his head and their eyes met, the open fire burned in the background filling them with warmth "yes im fine Zoe" he replied, she leaned in and kissed his forehead placing her hand on his knee, they looked into each others eyes, it was as if they were the only two people in the world and time had now stopped for them, they were freezing the moment._

_Zoe could see the pain in his eyes, the memories spiralling round his head were all to clear, at that moment Zoe saw him for what he really was – just a kind, loving but lonely man with a heart of gold, he had so much love to give._

_Adam too could see in Zoe's eyes she was hurting maybe because of Nick, all they both wanted to do at that moment was take the hurt and the pain away from each other._

_Adam tilted his head and planted a soft kiss on Zoe's lips, within seconds they were frantically kissing passionately, all the pain and sorrow was coming out in these deep meaningless kisses "Zoe no, we cant do this" Adam panted pulling away "of course we can" was the reply as Zoe pinned him down "no Zoe what about Nick?" questioned Adam between kisses, he knew he couldn't resist her, not now, her tender kisses were driving him wild._

_Its no wonder Nick's been walking around in a daze these last few months with a smile like the Cheshire cat he thought, but Nick was one of his best friends he couldn't do this to him, the reason he went round was to talk to Zoe not seduce her….._

_Nick sat eating his take away pizza that had just arrived, it had taken over an hour, he wasn't even hungry now, he kept picking up his phone in the hope that Adam had texted or called - but nothing, his head was a mess, the table in front of him was littered with sheets of paper where he'd wrote down his flash back episodes._

_No matter how hard he tried he couldn't fill in the missing pieces of the puzzle._

_He threw the pizza to the side and grabbed his car keys, he'd had enough he was going to find Zoe no matter what it took, he had to for the sake of his own sanity._

_Half an hour later he pulled onto the road where Zoe's house stood slowing the car down he saw a couple on the pavement making out "Aww" he said as he imagined himself and Zoe doing the same for the whole world to see, he could almost see the women embraced in the mans arms as Zoe, oddly the man looked a lot like Adam "hang on a moment" he muttered "that's Zoe and Adam…. the bastard!" he yelled as he watched his best friend and his girlfriend have a game of tonsil tennis in the middle of this public street._

_His heart sank as he felt tears filling his eyes, anger raged inside of him, he slammed the car into reverse and drove at full speed down the one way street, causing an approaching car to swerve, but he didn't care, he didn't even stop__._

_Driving at full speed down the road like a maniac he couldn't hold his anger in "fucking wanking two faced bastard!" he yelled skidding round the corner then suddenly bang everything went into slow motion…_

_'His flat was dark, the dim moonlight shone through the window "don't do it" echoed Zoe's voice as Nick raised his hand "now your really asking for it" he yelled as his clenched fist crashed down sending Zoe flying across the room"_

_His body jolted violently as hi__s car flew off the road crashing head on into a wall, his whole body was propelled forward then violently backwards, unbearable pain fired through his body, he saw flashing lights before him as he lost consciousness…._

_**Stay tuned for chapter 5 people; hope your enjoying the story! Please review or comment id love to know what you think! **_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5.**_

_**Story so far - Nick has now figured out most of the events of the Friday night when Zoe walked out – on his way home he crashed his car leaving a dent in the side, Zoe came to his flat after work - they had sex, Zoe and him began arguing about something still unknown 'don't do it' were Zoe's last words before walking out after Nick hit her.**_

_**After Adam agreeing to talk to Zoe for Nick things take a surprising turn. Nick drives to Zoe's only to find Adam and her kissing in the street, shortly after this he crashes his car and is unconscious…**_

_**The story continues…..**_

"Mr Jordan, can you hear me? Its Charlie, Charlie fairhead, your in Holby"

Nick opened his eyes and immediately reacted to the light Charlie was shining in his eyes "get that out my face" he stuttered trying to get up "ahhh" he screamed grabbing his shoulder "you've dislocated your shoulder" informed Charlie "you had an accident it seems you…."

"I no what happened" Nick butted in shuffling around.

"You would be a lot more comfortable if you kept still" suggested Charlie clearly sensing he was going to have trouble with him.

"Nick I have to ask you have you been drinking?" questioned Charlie preparing to have his head bitten off.

Nick glared at him with narrowed eyes "are you trying to imply that im drunk?"

"I didn't say that I was just merely enquiring, anyway the police want to talk to you" replied Charlie "is there anyone I can call for you?"

Nick looked up, he felt angry, confused, he wanted to rip Charlie's head off for some reason, why cant the old duffer just bugger off and leave me alone he thought to himself "No Charlie its fine, but thank you" he eventually answered.

"Right well Il get someone to come and put this shoulder back in place" said Charlie walking out closing the curtain behind him.

Nick looked at his watch, the face of it was smashed but the time was still readable, he realised he had been there most of the night, it was approaching 6o'clock in the morning almost time for him to start his shift.

Almost time for Adam to start his to, and even Zoe, that's if she could be bothered to put in an appearance.

Nick threw his head back and replayed the events of last night, Adam and Zoe, Adam and Zoe, Adam and Zoe, the names raced through his mind like a bullet being fired from a gun.

How could Adam do this to him? Why? What the hell was he thinking? Who did he think he was? And Zoe what the hell was she playing at?

Then he remembered that fateful Friday night, he had hit her, Nick Jordan the unadulterated eager maniac had hit Zoe, the love of his life.

The question of why still remained a mystery, but that didn't give her any reason to go and jump into bed with any Tom, Dick or Harry.

His bed was still warm from her body and she was jumping from his bed to Adams without having enough time to stop and tie her dressing gowned cord.

For a moment he tried to trick his mind into believing it wasn't them he had seen, that it was all in his mind, just a misunderstanding, it didn't work of course he wasn't blind or stupid for that matter.

He knew exactly what he saw, the images his head played before him made his heart fill with the stabbing pains of a thousand knives repeatedly cutting through his chest into his heart.

"Ok dislocated shoulder is it Mr …. Um Jordan, Nick hi, they didn't tell me it was you I um" stuttered Adam appearing before Nick causing the painful imagines to disappear and be replaced by the more hurtful reality of what he had seen – Adam – now he had to face Adam, talk to him, act as if nothing had happened, like he had seen nothing.

In his mind he still wanted to believe there was a perfectly logical explanation for what he had saw, maybe they were just saying goodnight, maybe nothing had happened between them although it had been in the early hours of the morning that he had seen Adam leaving Zoe's - well he hadn't seen him come out the house, maybe Adam was just passing and Zoe was just putting out some rubbish, or returning home and they had coincidently bumped into each other in the street outside her house, but why kiss? Why would there be any need for physical contact between the two of them?

Deep down though he knew in his heart that none of this was true, they were defiantly kissing, and it wasn't just a peck on the cheek, even a peck on the lips he could just about deal with, but not this, not a full blown snog, they hardly came up for air, he couldn't deal with this.

"Ok Nick im going pop this back in for you" said Adam moving closer and inspecting the injury, Nick's eyes burned into Adam's, he could feel the anger building up inside him.

"Did you talk to Zoe" Nick questioned allowing Adam to move him in to a more appropriate position.

"Um yeah, yeah I spoke to her" replied Adam "now hold still this might hurt but il be as quick as I can" he continued popping the joint back into place, he then put the arm in a sling for support "you will need to keep this on for a few weeks" he informed "yes I know Adam im a Doctor" snapped Nick

Nick let out a short groan of pain holding his shoulder tight "so what she say?" he asked staring at Adam "oh she didn't really say a lot, hey iv got to go il come and talk to you later" he stuttered leaving Nick alone.

"Guilty conscience, I bet she didn't SAY a lot" Nick muttered getting off the bed and grabbing his jacket, he was still wearing his clothes from the day before which were now blood stained, he was hardly in the state to work, but that didn't bother him.

He ignored all the stares from the ED staff members as he strolled freely to his office, right now he needed some time alone, to plan, to think what to do next.

"Zoe" he called as she stormed passed him not giving him a second glance "Zoe" he shouted more firmly this time, she turned "what Nick, what is it? I heard what happened, crashed your car again? Your not fit to be on the road" she snapped.

Nick took a step back and glared at her, he was surprised by her reaction, it was her that was playing away not him, how could she be mad at him? And then he remembered he had raised his hand to her, he had hit her, of course he deserved everything that she could throw at him "Zoe please, can we talk, please" he begged.

Zoe tilted her head feeling sorry for him, seeing him stood there, cuts on his face, his shoulder strapped up, his clothing dishevelled, she walked over and led him into his office.

There was an awkward silence

"Zoe"

"Nick"

They both spoke at once "Zoe im sorry, I hit you and I shouldn't have…."

"No Nick its fine it was my fault" Zoe interrupted "I wound you up" she continued starting to cry.

Now any other time Nick would have ran over, took her and her in his loving arms, but right now this didn't ring right, he had hit her and she was happy to say it was her fault when it clearly wasn't, he knew there was no excuse for hitting a women, it was something he had never done before and he hated himself for it, even though he could hardly remember a thing about it he knew whatever happened or how it came about was wrong.

Now he knew he had to talk to Adam….

Bolting out of the office he made his way to the staff room, his anger, hurt and pain was too much, he had to do something, he loved Zoe he couldn't bare the thought of her telling him she had slept with Adam, he knew she had because he saw it, the way they kissed made him feel sick to his stomach.

He marched into the staff room where Adam sat eating a plate of chips which soon flew out of his hands "you think im fucking stupid" challenged Nick.

Charlie, Lenny and Dylan stopped what they were doing and set their eyes on Adam and Nick.

"Nick what's the matter?" Adam questioned innocently

"Why don't you tell this lot what an utter fucking two faced cunt you are Adam" Nick screamed.

Adam stood up pushing him backwards slightly "what you talking about mate?" he answered calmly and again innocently.

"Don't you dare call me mate, your no fucking mate of mine" he bellowed

"Nick I think you should calm down" said Charlie butting in.

"Stay out of this" screamed Nick "come on Adam why don't you tell everyone how you and my girlfriend stood in a public road with your arms wrapped round each other and your tongues down each others throats"

Nick turned to the crowed that had slowly began to gather in the room "me and Zoe have been seeing each other" he announced "and now its all falling apart because of him" he continued pointing at Adam.

Tears ran down his cheeks as he turned to face Adam "well go on then, tell them mate" he screamed.

Adam didn't say a word, Nick dived into him screaming every insult he could "im glad Harry died because you don't deserve to be happy, your scum, fucking scum" he shouted tears steaming from his eyes.

"Enough!" yelled Charlie pulling Nick away.

"Your dead and buried, they can't be looking after you forever you no" cried Nick shaking Charlie away.

"Nick what's going on" asked Zoe confused, she stood in the doorway, she had seen everything…

_**Well now the story really is open!**_

_**Stay tuned for more people! **_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6**_

Nick shook his head and barged past Zoe leaving everyone in the staff room stood there in shock, all eyes were on Adam and Zoe now

"Please tell me that's not true Adam" asked Charlie calmly.

Adam didn't need to answer the look on his face said it all, he walked up to Zoe and placed his arm round her, she gave him a sharp look before shoving him away "Adam no" she muttered tears filling her eyes.

Adam took a step back "Zoe what's the matter?" he said in a confused tone of voice.

She didn't answer she just stood and stared at the confused faces dotted around the room.

"Lets just get back to work" urged Charlie leaving the room and heading to Nicks office, he felt it was his duty to find out what was happening here.

The office door was open, Charlie entered and saw Nick slouched on the sofa "You mind if I come in" he asked.

Nick lifted his head and shrugged his shoulders as Charlie sat beside him "well what a mess" he started before Nick cut him off.

"iv really messed things up haven't i" he said with a sigh.

"Oh I don't know" was Charlie's answer "people do make mistakes"

Nick sat and ran his good hand through his hair, he began to tell Charlie everything, or at least everything he could remember, Charlie sat and listened intently padding Nicks good shoulder every now and then in an attempt to stop him breaking down.

"Maybe you should see someone about this memory block" suggested Charlie "there must be a reason why you cant remember certain things, it could be the tumour has.."

"I don't need to see anyone" snapped Nick, his illness was the last thing he wanted to think about right now.

He was quite angry that his recent memory lapse didn't block out the thoughts that filled his head everyday.

Thoughts of dying, the fear of losing control, he often lay in bed and pictured his own funeral, he imagined looking down on his colleges from heaven.

Watching them cry and comfort each other as his coffin was lowered into the ground.

The reality of his illness got more and more apparent everyday, most people didn't have a set time on their lives.

Whereas he did, he didn't know how long he had left, but what he did know was it wasn't long enough.

He still had so many things he wanted to do, things he needed to do, yet everyday he had to sit and watch his hopes and dreams fade away.

Just then the police entered the room "Don't you people ever knock?" yelled Nick clearly angered by their presence.

"Mr Jordan?" the tall blond woman questioned, Nick nodded "im WDC Dicer and this is my colleague DC Lines, we would like to ask you some questions"

Charlie left them to it and went in search of Adam who he found outside the ED smoking, he casually wandered over "Adam is that you, you don't smoke" he said observantly.

Adam threw the half smoked cigarette away "I don't" he answered clearly agitated, the two of them sat down and engaged in small talk, it was clear to Charlie that Adam wasn't proud of what had happened, he'd betrayed one of his best friends.

Charlie tried to make him feel as relaxed as possible.

"Get your hands off me you've made a mistake"

Charlie and Adam looked up to see Nick being escorted to a nearby police car, they both bolted to their feet and rushed over "what the hells going on?" Adam questioned.

The officer turned to face him "Mr Jordan is under arrest" they replied in a firm tone.

"What on earth for?" asked Charlie.

The officer looked both of them square in the face "murder" …

_**Well there we go people, so what the hells happening now?**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7.**_

_**Nick has been arrested on suspicion of murder, could it be true? Has his memory really got so bad that he could have murdered someone and not even known?**_

Nick sat in a small cell at the police station awaiting interview, he had no idea what was going on, the police wouldn't even tell who he was suppose to have murdered.

He sat holding his throbbing shoulder, his mind full of confusion.

He smashed his head back hard against the cell wall.

At this moment he felt so frightened and alone.

Suddenly the door opened and he was escorted to an interview, the two officers were looking at him like he was a monster, they made him feel very uneasy.

WDC Dicer and DC Lines took their places and turned on the tape, after legal ramblings they began to ask questions.

"Mr Jordan can you tell us were you were between the hours of 6pm and 8pm on the 20th of this month?" the DC questioned, Nick looked hard into the man eyes, he just couldn't think.

"That would have been last Friday Mr Jordan" than man snapped.

Nick sat looking blankly ahead, his palms sweaty and his mind blank.

"Well?" the DC insisted on an answer.

"I can't remember" Nick eventually answered shaking his head.

The two officers sat back and exchanged glances.

"I was at work till half 6 I think" Nick stuttered rubbing his head "please can you just tell me what this is all about?"

"Do you know a Mr Kieron Fletcher?" the DC asked narrowing his eyes.

Nick sat back in his seat and stared intently at the two officers.

"Yes I do, well I mean he use to work for me" replied Nick now looking bored.

WDC Dicer leant across the table and continued interrogation "having established where you were at 6.30 lets establish where you were after that, did you drive home?"

Nick slouched in the chair and pulled his knee up to his chin, tilting his head up and down the length of his nose.

"Yes I drove home" he answered

The two officers smiled, a smug look appeared on both of their faces "when was the last time you saw Kieron Fletcher?"

"I cant'.. um Friday, I saw him Friday " replied Nick as his head began spinning.

Friday the day he and Zoe had rowed, the night she walked out on him.

"We understand you and Kieron have a history?" the woman started "would you like to tell us about that?"

"Look what's going on? What's happened to him?" demanded Nick getting frustrated, he didn't have a clue what was happening here, he had seen Kieron wandering around the ED with Lenny, he'd not spoken to him, although he had wandered why he was there.

"We didn't say anything had happened to him Mr Jordan, something you want to tell us?" this officer was now starting to really unnerve Nick.

After watching Nick sit and shake his head for a number of minutes the DC spoke again "where did you go after work?"

"Home, I went home, I must have got in about 8ish" replied Nick taking in a deep breath.

"It normally takes you an hour and a half to get home does it?" said the offer in a sarcastic tone.

Nick raised his eyebrow "no I had to stop, i um didn't feel well so I pulled over for a bit" he stuttered as images started filling his head.

He could see himself driving along the road, and that's when it hit him, he saw the headlight of a motorbike flash before him.

As the questions continued he became more and more withdrawn, scared and worried.

"Why were you driving so erratically last night?"

"Why are you driving a car when you have a brain tumour?"

"Have the DVLA been made aware of your current circumstance?"

Nick shot to his feet and smashed his good hand down hard on the table "please just tell me what's fucking happened" he wailed tears filling his eyes, tears of frustration, he felt like he was on trial.

"Kieron was found dead at the side of a country lane Mr Jordan, he had been knocked off his motorbike, a witness was able to give us part of your car registration number" declared the DC….

Back at the ED Charlie and Adam were sat in the staff room discussing things over a cup of tea "Nick Jordan murderer, I cant believe it" started Adam taking a sip of tea, Charlie sat shaking his head "there must be a perfectly logical explanation for his arrest, they have made a mistake"

They both sat and stared into space.

Just then Zoe walked in interrupting their thoughts "is it true?" she questioned looking concerned.

Adam and Charlie nodded "Nicks been arrested on suspicion of murder" informed Adam watching Zoe pour herself some coffee and join them on the sofa, she took a deep breath and burst into floods of tears "I knew this would happen" she sobbed as Adam and Charlie exchanged glances.

"Zoe, what do you mean?" asked Charlie placing a hand on her shoulder.

Zoe took a deep breath and began her tale…..

_**Hope you enjoyed reading people! **_

_**So what does Zoe know?**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Nicks been arrested on suspicion of murder, the murder of Kieron Fletcher the young man that for weeks believed Nick could be his farther only to be proved wrong, he has been questioned for hours and is still stuck at the police station.**_

_**With evidence mounting up against him and his memory of the event unclear can his friends help him?**_

_**Chapter 8**_

Adam and Charlie sat and listened intently as Zoe spoke in almost a whisper.

"It was last Friday, I went straight to Nicks after work, he seemed odd, we had a row, he told me he had taken a short cut home and that he felt he was being followed" she wiped a tear from her eye and continued "he said he was run off the road"

"By the person following him?" questioned Charlie

Zoe sat back and shook her head "no, no he said that a van was driving on the wrong side of the road, he swerved to avoid colliding with it, so it must have been coming towards him"

"So" muttered Adam.

"He told me he was feeling ill, I thought he might have hit his head or something, I tried to persuade him to go and get checked out but he wouldn't listen"

Adam and Charlie exchanged glances "I begged him!" cried Zoe "but he hit me"

"hit you?" stuttered Charlie in disbelief.

"It was my fault" screamed Zoe breaking down.

Charlie put his arm round her and comforted her, she continued through her painful tears "he told me that behind him he could see a body, he thought he'd killed someone"

Suddenly the staff room door opened and Noel entered looking for Adam "phone call for you its Nick" he informed just managing to avoid Adam bolting out of the room to take the call.

He returned several minutes later, sitting down he drew breath and began to talk "right guys we have to find out what really happened, the police are holding Nick on the basis of someone giving them part of his car registration number, he was seen driving away from the murder scene"

Zoe and Charlie blankly looked at him "Adam slow up, who's he meant to have murdered? Was this on that Friday night that Zoe just mentioned? Why didn't he report it? why"

"Charlie just shut up" Adam snapped.

"They are saying he ran a motorcyclist off the road" he placed his hand on his hips as he finished the sentence "and killed him"

An awkward silence filled the room which was quickly broken by Zoe "No, he couldn't have" she sobbed.

Charlie sat with his arms folded in deep thought.

"Zoe you said he thought he had killed someone, why would he say that if"

Zoe quickly cut him off "he was confused Adam! He's not been right for weeks!"

shaking his head and sitting down Adam stared into space "guys there's something else, the man that was killed was Kieron Fletcher"

The atmosphere in the room changed cold and eerie.

"Wait a moment" said Zoe "Nick told me a van was driving towards him on the wrong side of the road not a motorbike"

Charlie and Adam looked at her, Adam with a half smile on his face "and he thought he was being followed"

They all paused, the same thing was going through each of their minds, Nick Jordan wasn't a murderer he was a victim here.

Adam shot to his feet "Kieron must have been following him, the van must have been driving towards them both, Nick swerved and it hit Kieron"

They all processed Adams theory "its a lot of speculation built on very little fact" said Charlie breaking the silence.

Zoe shot him a look "Charlie! He told me "

"He told you he thought he had killed someone"

"Alright you two lets just think about this" interrupted Adam "ok he may have assumed wrongly that he had somehow killed someone, but it was a van that he swerved to avoid not a person, if he swerved to avoid a van he couldn't possibly have hit Kieron! It makes no sense"

Again silence came upon them.

"Well we better get down the station" instructed Charlie grabbing his coat…..

_**Well guys is that what really happened? **_

_**Or are they missing something?**_

_**Please review or comment if you have time! **_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Here comes chapter 9!**_

It took Zoe, Adam and Charlie around half an hour to get to the police station, armed with only their theory of what happened on that dreadful night they walked up to the reception desk to be greeted by a tall beaded man "can I help you?" he asked in a cheerful tone.

Charlie stepped forwards confidently "we would like to speak someone about Mr Nick Jordan, we've got some information"

"Oh I see, if you would all like to take a seat il get someone to come and see you" replied the man nodding towards the seating area.

"I can't stand this" snapped Zoe pacing back and forth.

Adam walked over and tried comforting her but she pushed him away, he didn't know what was going on between them, he liked her a lot, although he knew she didn't feel the same.

Their evening of passion had been drink fuelled, they had used each other to make themselves feel better.

Adam sat down and put his head in his hands, he really wanted Zoe to come over and hold him. He had never been lucky in love, Zoe and he had been friends for a long time, they had always helped each other out.

Especially when Nick was ill Zoe had always come to him for a shoulder to cry on, now that one evening seemed to have pushed them so far apart.

"Can I help you? Im DC Lines" smiled the officer holding his hand out.

Charlie flashed him a smile and shook his hand introducing himself and explaining why they were there.

The officer smiled and took them into a small office "your friend will be released on bail very soon" he informed them.

"It was a van that he swerved to avoid not a person, if he swerved to avoid a van he couldn't possibly have hit Kieron! It makes no sense" yelled Adam.

"You seem to know a lot about it" answered the officer shooting Adam a look.

"Nicks a very careful driver" screamed Zoe wiping tears from her eyes "he didn't do anything wrong!"

The officer turned away and shook his head "im sure your all trying to help but a man has been killed and we need to find out what really happened" he said with a smile much to Zoe's disgust.

"Why don't you fucking go and find the man that drove my boyfriend off the road!" she snapped.

"Lets all just calm down" said Charlie placing a hand on Zoe's shoulder.

The officer gave them another look "your friend will be released in a few hours" he informed "that's all I can say"

The three of them left the police station feeling defeated "lets all just go home" suggested Charlie.

"I can't leave here without Nick" said Zoe starting to cry.

Adam hugged her and was surprised this time as she didn't push him away "il stay here with you" he said with a smile.

Charlie left them to it, he knew there was nothing he could do.

Adam took Zoe in his arms and began stroking her back when he went to kiss her she pushed him away "Zoe please" snapped Adam.

She turned towards him, she knew it was wrong, it was Nick she really wanted.

She put her arms round him, then suddenly she realised that she could feel his hard cock poking into her, Then she kissed him gently on the lips, he responded..

She was ready too, pushing Adam against the wall she slipped her panties off and threw them away.

She looked down at Adams cock which was standing erect with a little dribble of pre-cum leaking from the tip

Not wasting any time she forced him onto the pavement and straddled him, her right hand going down to grasp his cock and present it to the lips of her now leaking pussy.

His cock was lovely and hard and wonderfully large, she had that indescribable feeling as she sank slowly down as it penetrated her pussy, gradually forcing its way up deep inside her, as her weight came down. She sank down on him hard feeling his cock stretching her and probing deep inside her.. .

She knew that it was not going to be long before she came, as she rested her hands on his chest, pressing his hard nipples under the palms of her hands she started rocking her hips as she fucked him hard.

"Ohhhh…slow down" He was looking up at her, his face flushed red and his lovely eyes open wide. Then she felt his body tense and then that lovely feeling as he shot his baby seed up into her flooding her pussy.

Finally he stopped cumming after she relaxed her grip, but now she just had to keep him hard long enough to let her cum . She knew that once she had an orgasm her own pussy would clamp down on his cock like a vice, making them both feel really good.

"Oh Zoe" Adam moaned

"Just let me fuck you, baby…you're so good…just let me cum…" smiled Zoe breathing hard.

She was grinding herself hard against him, not caring about any discomfort he must have been feeling.

But Adam remained hard for her, they were moaning and groaning together she came just a few minutes later.

She felt her orgasm rushing through her body numbing her senses, dropping her into a pit of pleasure.

Zoe wrestled with the huge orgasm that her body had been begging for. She was hot and breathless now, she could see Adam was about to cum again "come on baby, come for me" she smiled as she rode him faster making him fill her with hot spunk.

They lay there together on the pavement smiling and laughing at how dangerous they had just been.

"Does this mean we are you no, together?" questioned Adam.

Zoe smiled and kissed his cheek, suddenly they heard the sound of an ambulance, they rushed towards the sound and saw Jeff and Dixie wheeling Nick out of the police station…..

_**Ohhh what could possibly be wrong people? **_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Hello again people here's the final chapter for this one. Hope you enjoy it.**_

_**Chapter 10 (final)**_

Charlie, Adam and Zoe followed close behind the ambience "for god sake we're not going to a funeral peel rubber Charlie!" screamed Zoe from the back seat.

"Im going as fast as I can" answered Charlie.

"You drive like an old woman" snapped Zoe her voice trembling.

"Lets all just stay calm" shouted Adam smashing his hand on the dashboard.

They soon swerved into the ED car park, belting out the car they almost fell over each other, their hearts were racing as they ran like bats out of hell into the resus where Nick was being assessed.

"What happened!" cried Zoe rushing over.

"He collapsed" informed Jeff, helping the ED team lift him to the bed.

"Im fine" shouted Nick trying to get up.

"Mr Jordan please stay still, your BP is high as is your temperature, we need to get some fluids inside you" said Lenny trying to calm Nick down.

"I want lab tests for anaemia and dehydration and an ECG" ordered Ruth.

"What are you doing!" yelled Zoe hysterical "he needs a scan now! It's the tumour, the tumours bled"

Adam jumped forward and held her preventing her getting in the way of the emergency team, she struggled managing to shake free, rushing forward Charlie grabbed her "Zoe stop it, please calm down, let them do their job" he demanded as he and Adam dragged her through the resus doors and into reception.

"Was that Mr Jordan they just brought in?" questioned Big Mac.

With Zoe still kicking and screaming Adam turned breathlessly to answer "yes it was, but im sure he's fine"

"I thought he was a murderer?" butted in Noel.

This made Zoe, Adam and Charlie pause as the whole ED went silent enough to hear a pin drop.

"You bastard you fucking bastard" wailed Zoe lunging forward attacking Noel, Adam and Charlie promptly held her back.

"Im out of here" Came Nick's voice as he stormed past them with Lenny and Ruth on his tail.

"Nick" screamed Zoe again breaking free and running after Nick "Wait please your not well" she screamed following him to the car park.

She was about ten steps behind him when she heard the impatient sound of a horn and the squeal of breaks, catching up just in time to see Nick's body being tossed high into the air.

With gravity pulling him down she saw and heard his body hitting the concrete hard.

Adam and Charlie had caught up by this point, in time to see the driver of the car was Doctor Keogh who was now silently stood looking on at what he's just done.

"Oh no" cried Adam running past Zoe who was now frozen to the stop

When Adam reached Nick's side he was still conscious and his eyes turned pleadingly to him, but he could see that Nick was badly injured, his legs were tangled and useless, thin trickles of blood were oozing from his mouth, ears, nose and even eyes.

Adam took off his jacket and gently placed it over him "can I get some help here please!" he cried holding Nick's hand.

Nick promptly gripped it and with all his strength uttered the immortal words "no more Adam, no more"

"Nick" begged Adam crying "no, don't do this, no"

He held his hand tight as he watched Nick mouth the word "please" over and over again.

The team had now rushed over but they all knew there was nothing they could do.

Nick was now gasping and trembling, his eyes starting to get a strange faraway look; Zoe sat beside him taking his other hand, whispering through her tears "I love you Nick Jordan"

Using his last ounce of energy Nick uttered "I love you to Zoe"

Squeezing her hand he twitched twice, then let out a final breath, his head fell to the side, a trickle of saliva dribbled from his lips, and then his body went limp as he drifted away to that far off land where there is everlasting peace….

_**God that was hard to write, im actually crying!**_

_**I really hope you have enjoyed reading, please let me know what you think.**_

_**Please check the video link it would make a great end to the story…**_

_** watch?v=4Ft02UmUphQ**_

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